I doesn’t need a rich boyfriend. I need someone who needs me more than anything else

It has been 8 months. Yet, still. the. same.

three months ago,

I met him opera. We often go out together, and we used to laugh over small stuffs and lame jokes. We don’t need to say it out but we know what’s inside each other’s mind. But knowing that he fell for another girl, all I can do is sit quietly at the back seat and stare at him. Walked behind both of them hoping that they could be together one day so I can completely give up. 

I clearly remember the last time I cried, he hugged me and I said, “no matter how much effort I put it’s still the same. You wont like me. So please leave me alone”. I was so naive to change him. I think that I could save him from the heartbreaking pasts.  And that moment onwards I completely gave up on him. 

Then, I never bother replying him. I never bother meeting nor talking to him. 

two weeks later,

Knowing that he had feelings towards me. And of cause I still have feelings towards him as well. He held my hand out of nowhere. Heartbeat stopped for a few seconds and tears almost dripped. 

I really got no idea god is playing a fool with me or he really wants to make a stronger person. 

Arguments and disappointments make tired of this relationship. I then told myself, I really love this guy, I don’t want to regret in the future like how I did five years ago. And I hanged on till today. 

Couldn’t really sleep well for the past few days because the past has been traumatizing me. Whenever I close my eyes, I see how I cried and tried really hard to get over. It makes the reality so unreal. 

For once I really want to work things out with you. I really think that we can forget the past and start everything all over again. But now I know its almost impossible. 

Thanks for disappointing me again and again, It really makes me a stronger person.